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The following comments by the women reflect the opinion expressed by most of the women I interviewed: “The first time can be a little terrifying for the woman. Others commented on their expectations in the swinging context: “What kind of clothes should I wear?Most women don’t know what to expect and they often ask themselves: Am I pretty enough? I don’t want to embarrass myself by looking too slutty or too matronly.” Some addressed the concerns associated with jealousy and competition: “What if my husband finds other women more attractive than me? ” However, it doesn’t take long for most women to realize that how you look is probably only part of the process, and that, in the end, how they look physically isn’t that important at all: “Confidence is the most important feature of being sexy” said another one.To answer this question I referred back to the hundreds on interviews I’ve conducted over the last 15 years with couples in the Swinging Lifestyle, as well as private interviews with the women involved.I put together a collage of some of the more relevant commentary from those interviews.Considering that the great majority of women look at swinging as an opportunity for sexual variety, being seduced is part and parcel of the overall experience.

For women, feeling desired is a great confidence builder, and most women reported enjoying being seduced and desired.

It has often been said in the swinging community that women control what happens in swinging. After the initial nervousness wears off, it is the women who have the final say on who “parties with whom” and how (couples only, girl on girl, threesomes, group sex, including the enforcement of safe sex rules).

If the woman isn’t interested in an individual or a couple, a polite excuse is given.

“Even husbands get involved in preparing their wives before going to a swinging event.

Who cares if nipples are showing or camel toe is visible, it’s all part of the fun,” said one of my interviewees.

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